Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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