I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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