Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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