so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
