He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
