i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
