I could have mohawked her pubes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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