just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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