so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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