wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
