ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
