Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
