a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
