I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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