What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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