I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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