just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
porn star boner night. come get it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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