In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
