Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
