In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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