hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
