I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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