Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize