she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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