I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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