at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
