Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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