Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
