I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
