i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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