just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
