i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
