Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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