White coat. Heels.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
