i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
