dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
