He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
