He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
