He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
