totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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