I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
