You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
