You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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