I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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