Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize