u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
