What did we do last night that was yellow?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
