The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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