his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't deserve a penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
