I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
