When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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