VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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