..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
